Pre-Christmas 2021 Humor

I know, it's a Wednesday. Normally, you find me in your Inbox early on Sunday morning.

The needle on your stress meter might be pinning. What you're about to read can change that.

Today's goal is twofold:

• make you smile, maybe even laugh out loud
• let you shake the box of my Christmas gifts I'm giving you

Was it TA-DA or Not?

I was so fortunate to attend a Catholic grade and high school. Maybe you did too. Those of us who attended these schools in the 1950s through the early 1970s will tell you it was a character-building experience. A fantastic one.

Each of us has stories to tell about the nuns and priests. I've got countless ones.

About seven years ago, my youngest daughter asked me to write all of them down as well as all the other stories about me growing up. This project is ongoing and I'm about to finish Volume Two of her four-volume Adventures & Advice book set.

Most of the stories are private and the book is only being shared with family and a few very close friends.

That said, Donna reached out to me on Sunday morning because my quotation of Scripture at the bottom of the last newsletter (linked to the left) produced a humorous flashback for her. It's just below.

After reading Donna's true tale, I decided that I'd share one of my grade school stories with you.

CLICK or TAP HERE to read it. It's one of the upcoming chapters in Volume Two of my daughter's Adventures & Advice book.

Now for Donna's story. To get the full effect of Donna's hilarious anecdote, allow me to share one other Christmas Catholic grade-school conundrum.

Realize there was no sex education back when I was in school. You either got the awkward talk from your parents - I didn't - or you got bits and pieces from the older kids and what you could glean from glossy pictures in certain magazines.

One thing that really confused me was the Immaculate Conception feast day. What the heck was THAT all about?

Using a bunch of confusing words like womb, virgin, and "with child" the priests and nuns were trying to explain how in the world Mary got pregnant. Believe me, it's a lot to comprehend for an 8-year-old! I have to tell you it took me years to figure it out.

Go nine months down Mary's timeline and you get to Donna's moment in the classroom. Here it is:

I was in 3rd grade, and it was right before Christmas vacation. The parish priest would visit each classroom and give us the pep talk about being good, thanking our family for the gifts we receive at Christmas, go to Mass, don't fight with our brothers and sisters, etc. And then he asked us if we had any questions. So I, the PITA kid who ALWAYS had questions, asked "When Jesus was born, was it like when we were born, or was it like "TA-DA" and he was in the manger?"

Father looked like he swallowed a fish - whole - and said he needed to consult with Sister. They both turned their backs on us, and there was a lot of shoulder shaking and eye wiping. Father turned back to the class and solemnly announced "There was no TA-DA!" and left very quickly.

When I got home that day, my mother wanted to kill me. Wonder why?

Thanks, Donna for sharing that. It made me laugh out loud!

Shake Time

Did you used to do what I did? My Mom and Dad would put presents under our Christmas tree days before they were to be opened. Looking back, I think it was a form of torture.

I'd often shake the wrapped boxes and sometimes I'd even carefully try to peek under the seam of the overlapping paper for a clue. When Mom saw that, she started fully taping the seams. Drat!

Now it's your turn. Here's a clue about what I've got in store for you days from now:

I hope you have a very very Merry Christmas.

It's going to be a white one here as we got lots of snow days ago and more is on the way.

Tim Carter
Founder - www.AsktheBuilder.com

Do It Right, Not Over!